Mommy Musings

The truth is I'm a homemaker. 

There I said it. It's done. 

You must be thinking "Sandra has lost her marbles! She's been a stay at home mom for 6 months now!"

And while I have lost some of my marbles. This is a completely lucid statement. 

I am a homemaker and not a stay at home mom. 

For those wondering what's the difference or why is she taking this stance. Let me clarify. 

For the past 6 or so months, every time I tell someone I am a stay at home mom these are some of the reactions I get: 

• It must be so nice to have all that time to yourself 
• Oh I'm so jealous you never miss [insert cult daytime tv show name here]
• It's like everyday is a weekend for you!
• How lucky! You get to play with you little one all day! 
• Does your husband give you an allowance/Is your husband ok with you spending money like that?

And those are only the ones I remember. And I know I had my own misconceptions of what homemaker-hood would be, those were quickly dissolved. 

I don't stay at home. 

I cook at home, when I can. I clean a little when I can- in truth Jay does most of the cleaning. I am at the beck and call of a 9 month old. We play and read. We have play dates, and diaper changes. We fight over finishing bottles, and see how much food we can fling on mommy. We scream bloody murder because our teeth hurt, and naps are hit or miss. Most days, Kubs is such an independent little guy who occasionally needs me to check in. Some days, all I can do is hold him and hug him as he deals with all the changes in his life. Being a baby is hard work! And being baby's first responder day in and day out is equally hard. Somewhere in the middle of this- I have to take a shower and eat.  

Everyday I am making a home. I am making memories of laughter and hugs. I am cuddling in warm blankets, and splashing in buckets of water. I am making delicious food because tastes and smells can evoke the strongest memories. Everyday I am making choices that make this space our home, that make the people around us our family, and that make this our life. 

And of course I have an amazing little family helping me make a home! I have a baby who smiles at me every time he wakes up and sees me. I have a husband who has washed every load of cloth diapers since we changed over to cloth. I have a baby who cries to let me know he needs me. I have a husband who comes home with smiles, hugs and kisses, who takes our little guy so that I can have a break. This list is endless and filled with so much joy! 

So you see, I don't really stay at home. Because I'm busy making a home. 

And another thing. This homemaker stuff is hard! BUT I could do without all the naysayers. The parents who let me know that babies grow up and become tougher to deal with. That 8 is hard, and 13 is awful, and 18 well it's damn near impossible. 

We are not dealing with our children. They have such an amazing life ahead of them. And yes, I'm sure there will be nights when I miss the little days, but seeing my 8 year old being 8 will be a joy. And watching my 13 year old become a teen hoping that they always remember how brilliant I think they are will be amazing. And sitting back as my 18 year old thinks about and decides what their next move is going to be will fill me with pride. 

I know there will be hard days. But I also know that there will be so much more joy!  

And so I continue making our home and filling it with joy! 


*mommy musings will be an ongoing section with thoughts about my journey of mommy hood*